Life at 30

I'm actually a fan of Twitter. I've been tweeting constantly since I joined. There's something about micro blogging in limited characters that just attracted me to it coupled by being able to follow just about anyone especially celebrities made me hooked. The downside to it is being prone to stalking. I may not be a celebrity but somehow I was followed by some guy. At first I was scared for my life but later on I realized I'm not going to be ruled by my fear I'm going to live my life. Basically, life for me went on until I found out I can set my account on private and kick out people I don't want following me. That made it so much better for me but I craved the public account at the same time. Everything I've said so far are not the reason why I quit Twitter. My reason is more personal regarding my cousin that I tweeted back and forth pretty much everyday since I joined in. I thought we were close friends since we were constantly communicating but I found out we're not. I was one of the last people to know of her pregnancy so obviously we were not that close. All those months of tweeting/texting back and forth I never heard her once try to confide in me, and it hurt to think she couldn't trust me. I understand it's her secret to tell or not and she definitely had the right to choose who to confide in but the fact that I wasn't one of the chosen people made a huge impact on me. My sister was one of the chosen one. It's not about sibling rivalry I never once competed with my sister but if she was able to tell her why not me? What was so wrong about me that she felt she couldn't trust me?

Coming back from Vancouver I lost the enthusiasm to tweet. I thought to myself if she didn't want to share that with me then why am I an open book to her. After having that train of thought I decided I wasn't going to tweet anymore. I wanted to deprive her of the details of my life just to show her what it felt like to be on the other end. When I learned about my pregnancy, I told my family and my husband's family but I never included her side of the family. I made them find out on facebook just like the rest of the world. Though of course my Mom and my sister probably mentioned it already but the fact that I didn't say it to them personally gave me great satisfaction. Now that my cousin knows I'm pregnant she's reaching out again texting how my morning sickness is going and such. I'd like to be happy that she's trying to have a relationship with me again but the bitterness is still there. Right now I just can't do it. Maybe in time I'll heal but for now everything's still fresh.