Life at 30

Facebook stopped working for an hour and I find myself with nothing to do. I've been spending so much of my time there lately it is insane. I'm now actively playing 3 games from Millionaire City, Resort World, and the latest Cafe Life. Those games aren't even that great but it helps pass time on my days off. Blogging to me is now a chore so if you notice me blog less and less that's probably why. I should set up a schedule that'll give me ample time to find material for my blog instead of trying to blog daily. I was thinking maybe twice a week as a good way to start every Mondays and Fridays.

The whole weekend I've been wondering what to write. It's actually harder than I thought to own a blog. Signing up is one thing but maintaining it is another. So I'm going to write a review about Tom Cruise's recent movie.

Knight and Day
This movie made over $200 million worldwide but less than $100 million in the U.S. If you make less than $100 million (domestic) that means the movie's a bust but for me this is the only time I've seen Tom Cruise as a funny guy! All of his roles in the past have been so serious so to me this is a breath of fresh air. Tom plays an agent gone rogue and Cameron Diaz plays a normal girl who gets her life tangled with Tom's as they find themselves on the same airplane. I've never laughed so hard the whole time I was watching this movie. He's just so funny in this movie! I especially like the scene when he was hanging upside down and Cameron's passed out somewhere just coming into. That's in the preview by the way so I'm not really ruining it for anyone who hasn't seen the movie. I won't say much about how this movie turns out. Go watch it I promise you'll have fun.

4/5 stars

I'm actually a fan of Twitter. I've been tweeting constantly since I joined. There's something about micro blogging in limited characters that just attracted me to it coupled by being able to follow just about anyone especially celebrities made me hooked. The downside to it is being prone to stalking. I may not be a celebrity but somehow I was followed by some guy. At first I was scared for my life but later on I realized I'm not going to be ruled by my fear I'm going to live my life. Basically, life for me went on until I found out I can set my account on private and kick out people I don't want following me. That made it so much better for me but I craved the public account at the same time. Everything I've said so far are not the reason why I quit Twitter. My reason is more personal regarding my cousin that I tweeted back and forth pretty much everyday since I joined in. I thought we were close friends since we were constantly communicating but I found out we're not. I was one of the last people to know of her pregnancy so obviously we were not that close. All those months of tweeting/texting back and forth I never heard her once try to confide in me, and it hurt to think she couldn't trust me. I understand it's her secret to tell or not and she definitely had the right to choose who to confide in but the fact that I wasn't one of the chosen people made a huge impact on me. My sister was one of the chosen one. It's not about sibling rivalry I never once competed with my sister but if she was able to tell her why not me? What was so wrong about me that she felt she couldn't trust me?

Coming back from Vancouver I lost the enthusiasm to tweet. I thought to myself if she didn't want to share that with me then why am I an open book to her. After having that train of thought I decided I wasn't going to tweet anymore. I wanted to deprive her of the details of my life just to show her what it felt like to be on the other end. When I learned about my pregnancy, I told my family and my husband's family but I never included her side of the family. I made them find out on facebook just like the rest of the world. Though of course my Mom and my sister probably mentioned it already but the fact that I didn't say it to them personally gave me great satisfaction. Now that my cousin knows I'm pregnant she's reaching out again texting how my morning sickness is going and such. I'd like to be happy that she's trying to have a relationship with me again but the bitterness is still there. Right now I just can't do it. Maybe in time I'll heal but for now everything's still fresh.




Crib $350

  




Playpen $150

 So I've been checking out how much cribs, car seats, strollers, and etc cost and to my surprise cribs are really expensive! How can that little bed cost that much when it's only useful for about a year and after that you have to buy them toddler beds! There's actually so much more the baby needs before my due date and I'm just so overwhelmed right now. It's time to start segregating! I need to figure out which grandmas/grandpa/aunts/uncles will buy this stuff for us haha! We knew going into this it'd cost a lot but to actually make a list of it and total the whole thing in my head is a shock. I better do gift registry early too way before the baby shower or we're stuck with 2-3 of the same stuff. Welcome to reality!

Since I found out about my pregnancy I've been doing nothing but eat! I actually have to schedule when to eat because if I don't I'll faint from hunger. My usual eating time is breakfast at 9am, lunch at 11am, snack at 2 or 3pm, dinner at 4 or 5pm, snack again before bedtime. I repeat this process everyday since I found out if I don't snack in between meals I get so hungry I start getting dizzy. That's a lot of eating for one person but I have not gained any weight at all because of my eating habit. I found out from the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting" by Heidi Murkoff that's how pregnant women should eat. The book actually recommends eating 6 times a day and sometimes I do get to eat 6 times but most of the time it's only 5 times a day. The secret to this is not to eat a lot in one sitting. I used to only eat three times a day in big meals but I found out eating that way gives me indigestion. If you haven't experienced indigestion, it is painful! You can feel the food you just ate go down slowly and you'll feel this for a while until all the food go down to your stomach. When you're pregnant your body takes its time to process food making sure the baby gets to eat what you're eating before it settles in your stomach. I'm learning a lot from this book but I read it slowly so I can soak in all the information. This is what I learned so far from this book and of course my Dr:

What not to eat when you're pregnant or what to watch out for
-raw food
-veggies/fruits wash thoroughly
-seafood from the ocean (as it may contain mercury)
-dairy products and juice make sure it's pasteurized (in Canada dairy products found in the grocery stores are all pasteurized)
-deli meat (if you must cook it to get rid of potential salmonella)
-limit caffeine intake

Myth on what food you cannot eat
-spicy food (chilis, jalapenos, etc actually has vitamin C so it's okay to eat unless it gives you heartburn)
-ice cream (Chinese people are big on this and I don't understand why-my Dr and the book never said anything about pregnant women not allowed to eat ice cream)

As I'm still on my first trimester, the book says the baby doesn't need the extra calories from the mother since it's still small. I hear a lot that pregnant women should eat twice as much since the mother is eating for two but you have to remember the second person is very tiny (pea-like!) in the first trimester (1 to 12 weeks). In the second trimester, the mother needs 300 calories to 350 calories extra which is equivalent to 2 glasses of skim milk and a bowl of oatmeal (let me tell you that is not a lot at all!) In the third trimester, the mother can or should eat 500 cal extra.

I'm going to be doing more research and readings as I go into my second trimester. For now, I'm enjoying my insane food cravings :)

I have a friend who's a really nice girl (she's 19) but very stupid when it comes to guys and relationships. I've known her for about 2 years now and since I've known her she's always overlapping her guys. Up until last night I've stayed out of her business but I don't know what came over me (pregnancy hormones?) or maybe I'm just tired of her bullshit that I just snapped. Currently, she's living with her boyfriend of over a year. The way they met last year, she was also living with another guy at the time and somehow the two weeks I didn't see her she switched boyfriends (and houses). The whole time she was with this guy of over a year now, she's been entertaining other guys and even cheated on him. When I say cheated on him I mean she had a one night stand with some guy meanwhile convincing me she was in love with him but didn't break it off with her boyfriend anyway. Last night, she was on the phone with this other guy and I've been joining in their phone conversation out of jest but I must've listened in at a bad time since what I heard from him went like this, "so you must feel weird dating an old pervert." Upon hearing this I thought seriously? Again? She made mistake of telling me about one of her ex boyfriends and the guy on the phone heard her say she was living with that one so she had no choice but to tell him she did live with a guy. Lived with a guy? There's something missing in this info so I said, "and now too?" which of course the guy on the phone heard. She started freaking out and told the guy not to mind me since I'm just.. To this I said, "just being truthful?" She ran out of the room so fast stammering to explain to the guy that I wasn't serious. I think she wanted to be mad at me because after she hung up with the guy she started saying, "oh Kathy..." and to this part I said, "what the hell was that???!!! Are you serious?!" all she could say was, "I know, I don't know what's going on anymore." Before we parted last night the last thing I said to her was to fix it. Fix it fast.

When I saw my husband later last night, I told him the story, and he said I should've just minded my own business. I told him yes he's right and that's what I've been doing since I met her, and I couldn't take it anymore. He then said, "why did it take you this long to realize your friend is a slut. I knew from the first time I met her that's what she was!" Of course I knew she was already this way when I met her but I didn't care what she was doing. For two years I didn't think I treated her as a friend until last night.

Yesterday, I had a migraine attack. It was the worst feeling in the world! I felt a gradual headache throughout the day and right around 8pm at work I had the worst headache and ended up throwing up in the backroom. I had to go home early and on our drive home I was getting car sick from just being inside a car. The rest of my night consisted of a cold compress to my head in a dark room with no lights whatsoever. I hate it when I get a migraine, the last time I had one was 2 years ago on our family trip to Calgary. I actually threw up at some Chinese restaurant. After that day, I swore off caffeine and I haven't had any since two days ago when my sister introduced me to "healthy chocolate." Like what the nurse I talked to on the phone last night said, "is there such a thing as healthy chocolate?" I guess my answer would be no to that question. I was in bed by 8:30 pm last night so naturally I was up before 6am this morning. My husband was nice enough to sleep downstairs coz he didn't want to disturb me with his snoring. I decided to join him and I tried to sleep next to him but I couldn't go back to sleep so I ended up making "lugaw" for myself. We had a little bonding time before he headed for work we watched "How to train your dragon". I slept again for a little bit then when I woke up I had dry heaves. That feeling is worse than actually vomiting! After dry heaving I started breaking out into sweats and started feeling better. Now I'm back to eating my "lugaw"

I was asked by my family Dr if I had a preference in choosing my obstetrician (a physician that specializes in caring for pregnant women through childbirth) and what I really wanted to say was, "yes, I want a white Dr -a term non Caucasians refer to people of light skin, maybe blond/brown hair, and no accent when speaking English. That may sound very racist coming from an Asian woman but it's not the color of the skin that I have issues with it's the accent. I can't for the life of me understand people with heavy accents except for Chinese people since majority of the people in my workplace are Chinese or Vietnamese so I have that accent mastered. If you put Russian, East Indian, German, Austrian, Australian accents in the mix I'm left with my bewildered self. I'm completely lost every time I talk to them which leads to misinformation and misinterpretation and I don't want to put myself into that situation during my entire pregnancy. How can I say to my Dr, "I don't want an East Indian" well maybe I can but I don't want to get kicked out of his office since he's East Indian. What I ended up saying though was, "It doesn't matter I just want a woman." Sometimes, I thank God for giving me a filter not to blurt out everything that comes to mind. As much as I pride myself in being overtly honest and straight forward I do filter what I say sometimes because I realized there's a difference between honesty and rudeness and some people just don't know the difference between the two. 

I'm increasingly getting irritated with my co-workers nowadays. It takes a lot to irritate me since I can be very patient but these days the way they talk about each other makes me think why they even bother showing fake "niceness" when they're in front of each other. How do people do that! I'm a simple girl, if I don't like someone and I'm stuck working with them I'll be cordial and nice enough but I would never pretend I like that person or even worse go out to eat with them. That's just not me. I guess some people like the complications in life. I usually hear stories after each dinner about how stupid this person was and how ridiculous this other person was acting. Seriously if you don't like each other don't socialize outside of work! Plain and simple! The other thing that also bugs me about my workplace is nobody can keep their mouth shut. You tell them something in confidence and the next thing you know everyone at work knows about it. In my case, I told my boss in confidence I might be pregnant when I was eating lunch in the back room with him. I wasn't going to but I felt like I was going to faint and didn't want to alarm him. After that day, everyone at work thinks I might be pregnant which really pissed me off. How do you betray someone's trust like that and make them talk of the town. Since I got my test result I've been keeping mum on my pregnancy (from my coworkers) out of spite. Yes that's right I'm livid at all of them that I'm going to make them the last to know. Every time I go to work all they ask is, "so did you find out yet?" I've been saying, "nope not yet the lab doesn't have it yet" and I'll be saying that line until I've told every single one of my friends.

Fresh from my weekend, my niece and nephew are bugging the hell out of me especially this early in the morning.  I shouldn't let them sleepover when hubby has to work the next day or I'm stuck with these two. Whenever they horse around one of them always ends up crying so I have to separate them every five minutes.

We went to a friend's engagement party over the weekend and all we heard was, "are you pregnant yet?" we had to say no we're not pregnant yet since we have yet to tell our families, and we wanted them to be the first to know. We finally got a chance to tell my family last night and as we expected they were happy about the news. I was telling my husband before coming over Mom would be excited for a bit then she'll retrieve downstairs to watch her TFC and that's exactly what happened! It's funny how predictable she can be. I think my husband's family will be more excited about the news. Not only are they excited about having a baby around but it's the first grandchild in his family! So, we were thinking of breaking the news with more style than what we did with my family.

I'm trying to break those two apart again for the 100th time. Maybe I should send one upstairs and the other to the basement. The door bell rings and the third one is here. Now there's three of them! Thank goodness the third one is adorable or I'll be pulling my hair out for the next hour or so.

I got an organizer from my Dr

It comes with a DVD, calendar, and infos

I was nervous about going to the Dr yesterday that I came 20 minutes late. As soon as I came in, I was asked to provide a urine sample. I did wonder about this request since I specifically remember giving the lab urine and blood sample last week, but I thought nothing of it. I did my business, and gave it to them anyway. Soon after, the girl who works there took my measurements and blood pressure. When I finally saw my Dr the first thing he said was, "Congratulations! You really are pregnant!" Now, I've known about this for weeks but I decided to keep mum about it to everyone but my  husband.

Events leading up to the confirmation
It all began before our trip to Vancouver. I usually keep track of when that time of the month comes, and when I thought I was getting mine I started having cramps. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach but the pain subsided after 15 minutes. After that faithful day, I started wondering why my period didn't come which led to having an inkling that I might be pregnant. Days turned into a week and my suspicion grew stronger since I'm the kind of girl who never misses her period. Our trip to Van was fast approaching so we decided to wait for my period to come, and if it doesn't come when we come home I'll take a home pregnancy test. So it was decided. We had fun in our trip but after the end of each night I was dead as a log. Thinking back, the trip was just too tiring for me. Coming back, my mother in law was nice enough to give us huge crabs for dinner (I think my in law just wants to make sure my husband gets fed but that's another blog entry) which he ended up eating by himself coz I couldn't stand the site of it! Just looking at it made me queasy that I didn't even want it in the house. In Van though we had too much seafood so I thought I was just sick of 'em. When we finally bought the pregnancy test I was too nervous to do the test. We were getting a bit excited about the thought of me pregnant (my husband especially) that if we get a negative we'd be disappointed. So, there I was peeing in a stick too nervous to look. The instructions said to wait 10 minutes before reading the  result but I was reading it in 2 mins. As soon as I saw the result, I checked the box again. I was confused by what I saw. Does it mean I'm pregnant or not? The sign I got was a bold vertical line and a faint horizontal line. What does it mean? I finally went downstairs in confusion telling my husband I don't know what the result means. He looks at the stick and asks for the instructions. After a couple of minutes of analyzing he says, "I think this means you're pregnant." I read the box again, and it says it doesn't matter how faint the horizontal line is, if there's a line it means you're pregnant. We weren't too sure about the result so we decided to try again 3 days later and we got the same result! So we thought okay then maybe I am but the box also warns people about chemical pregnancy (A chemical pregnancy is the clinical term used for a very early miscarriage. In many cases, the positive pregnancy test was achieved before the woman’s period was due but a miscarrige occured before a heartbeat was able to be seen on an ultrasound.) I don't know why they put that in the box but it made me think the whole pregnancy was just in my head. Monday came and I finally made a phone call to my Dr to book for an appointment. 


I'll be telling my family tonight after work and his family next week so if by chance you read this entry before we get a chance to tell our families keep this news quiet for now thanks! :)

Today's the day I have my yearly physical exam done. This usually makes me nervous since I don't want to sit around at home the next day or two waiting for that dreaded phone call from your Dr. saying you have cancer or some other incurable disease. For the record, I haven't had a call since I started seeing my new Dr. but then again I only started seeing him last year which would equate to one physical exam and today would be the second one. Nevertheless, I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Today, I plan to bring a notepad with me since whatever it is that I talk about with him in his office by the time I step out I've forgotten our conversation so TODAY I shall equip myself with a pen and paper. Next thing on my list is give my husband a call about how molested I felt during the entire process and his turn will come soon. If you've never had a physical exam done I suggest you do so and then come back to my blog. We can swap stories about feeling molested and abused - though I don't think I should use those words loosely.

I was at London Drugs looking for a blush brush yesterday. I was thinking of spending a little bit more on it so I was looking for an expensive one. As I reached the make up aisle, I saw a guy reaching for the same brush I was interested in. I smiled and asked, "what? you also want one?" He just laughed and continued walking. I thought nothing of it until I bumped into him again the second time. This time, the aisle felt narrow and I felt trapped but of course I didn't make it known I was getting uncomfortable. Everything happened so fast the next thing I know he was trying to take my engagement ring off my finger. I started screaming but nothing came out. I said to myself, "you have to scream loudly as you can or nobody's going to hear you!" As I try to scream I felt myself whimper before I uttered, "Noooooo!!!!" and that's when my husband woke me up. My husband was scared for me that he asked if I was okay and gave me a hug. When he asked what I was dreaming about I remember muttering something about some guy robbing me. That nightmare felt so real I still can't get it out of my head. I spent the rest of the night trying to get back to sleep and so did my hubby. I'm actually thinking of only wearing my ring when I'm with my hubby and just wear my wedding ring everyday. This dream somehow made me learn my lesson even before anything actually happened in real life.

At Butchart Gardens in Victoria

We recently came back from my cousin's wedding in Vancouver. We were there for 5 days so we had time to have a little reunion and tour BC. To our surprise, my cousin - who was getting married at the time was 5 months pregnant! What a surprise indeed! It's really hard to fake enthusiasm when you got a shock of your life. I mean what do you say besides "wow you're big!" An advance warning would've been appreciated but we didn't get any of that. We were basically forced into an awkward situation and we couldn't do anything but pretend everything is fine and dandy. What is so bad about letting us know in advance? That we would change our minds and not go? I don't see the reasoning behind it aside from the fact that they may be ashamed of it. One can only feel sorry for themselves long enough before realizing it's not about them anymore. There's a baby inside of you and needs to be taken care of! My cousin is not a teenager anymore she is in her late 20s but the way she handled the situation sure makes her look like one. I understand the shame and disbelief she must be feeling because of what happened to her especially coming from a religious family, but I don't understand why she waited a week before the wedding to tell her family and for her family to let us know when we got there. I expected that kind of behavior from teenagers, not from a girl in her late twenties who's been with her boyfriend for 7 years with full time jobs.

At 30, I find myself living in a new house with a husband of almost 4 months. We spent our day yesterday watching movies, managing to cook our meals in between. There's great rapport between us. We function as a team and that's how we've always been since our dating days. It's strange finding myself in this position. I never thought the day would come I would ever be married let alone do the whole cooking, cleaning bit that I used to dread when I was younger. At 30, I feel like my mid-twenties was a decade ago! A lot has changed, I got engaged in late 2008, did my wedding preps from then on 'til early 2010, had an over-the-top wedding shower, and finally tied the knot in Mexico. When we came back, we got our house keys a week later and the rest is what they always say - history. It's exciting seeing this change in me but there's also fear of becoming a full grown adult. That's how life is I guess, whether you want to or not, choose to or not, someday you'll get old. I have two choices: fight nature every step of the way or let nature do its course. Now which one do I pick?