Life at 30

Yesterday, I had a migraine attack. It was the worst feeling in the world! I felt a gradual headache throughout the day and right around 8pm at work I had the worst headache and ended up throwing up in the backroom. I had to go home early and on our drive home I was getting car sick from just being inside a car. The rest of my night consisted of a cold compress to my head in a dark room with no lights whatsoever. I hate it when I get a migraine, the last time I had one was 2 years ago on our family trip to Calgary. I actually threw up at some Chinese restaurant. After that day, I swore off caffeine and I haven't had any since two days ago when my sister introduced me to "healthy chocolate." Like what the nurse I talked to on the phone last night said, "is there such a thing as healthy chocolate?" I guess my answer would be no to that question. I was in bed by 8:30 pm last night so naturally I was up before 6am this morning. My husband was nice enough to sleep downstairs coz he didn't want to disturb me with his snoring. I decided to join him and I tried to sleep next to him but I couldn't go back to sleep so I ended up making "lugaw" for myself. We had a little bonding time before he headed for work we watched "How to train your dragon". I slept again for a little bit then when I woke up I had dry heaves. That feeling is worse than actually vomiting! After dry heaving I started breaking out into sweats and started feeling better. Now I'm back to eating my "lugaw"

I was asked by my family Dr if I had a preference in choosing my obstetrician (a physician that specializes in caring for pregnant women through childbirth) and what I really wanted to say was, "yes, I want a white Dr -a term non Caucasians refer to people of light skin, maybe blond/brown hair, and no accent when speaking English. That may sound very racist coming from an Asian woman but it's not the color of the skin that I have issues with it's the accent. I can't for the life of me understand people with heavy accents except for Chinese people since majority of the people in my workplace are Chinese or Vietnamese so I have that accent mastered. If you put Russian, East Indian, German, Austrian, Australian accents in the mix I'm left with my bewildered self. I'm completely lost every time I talk to them which leads to misinformation and misinterpretation and I don't want to put myself into that situation during my entire pregnancy. How can I say to my Dr, "I don't want an East Indian" well maybe I can but I don't want to get kicked out of his office since he's East Indian. What I ended up saying though was, "It doesn't matter I just want a woman." Sometimes, I thank God for giving me a filter not to blurt out everything that comes to mind. As much as I pride myself in being overtly honest and straight forward I do filter what I say sometimes because I realized there's a difference between honesty and rudeness and some people just don't know the difference between the two. 

I'm increasingly getting irritated with my co-workers nowadays. It takes a lot to irritate me since I can be very patient but these days the way they talk about each other makes me think why they even bother showing fake "niceness" when they're in front of each other. How do people do that! I'm a simple girl, if I don't like someone and I'm stuck working with them I'll be cordial and nice enough but I would never pretend I like that person or even worse go out to eat with them. That's just not me. I guess some people like the complications in life. I usually hear stories after each dinner about how stupid this person was and how ridiculous this other person was acting. Seriously if you don't like each other don't socialize outside of work! Plain and simple! The other thing that also bugs me about my workplace is nobody can keep their mouth shut. You tell them something in confidence and the next thing you know everyone at work knows about it. In my case, I told my boss in confidence I might be pregnant when I was eating lunch in the back room with him. I wasn't going to but I felt like I was going to faint and didn't want to alarm him. After that day, everyone at work thinks I might be pregnant which really pissed me off. How do you betray someone's trust like that and make them talk of the town. Since I got my test result I've been keeping mum on my pregnancy (from my coworkers) out of spite. Yes that's right I'm livid at all of them that I'm going to make them the last to know. Every time I go to work all they ask is, "so did you find out yet?" I've been saying, "nope not yet the lab doesn't have it yet" and I'll be saying that line until I've told every single one of my friends.

Fresh from my weekend, my niece and nephew are bugging the hell out of me especially this early in the morning.  I shouldn't let them sleepover when hubby has to work the next day or I'm stuck with these two. Whenever they horse around one of them always ends up crying so I have to separate them every five minutes.

We went to a friend's engagement party over the weekend and all we heard was, "are you pregnant yet?" we had to say no we're not pregnant yet since we have yet to tell our families, and we wanted them to be the first to know. We finally got a chance to tell my family last night and as we expected they were happy about the news. I was telling my husband before coming over Mom would be excited for a bit then she'll retrieve downstairs to watch her TFC and that's exactly what happened! It's funny how predictable she can be. I think my husband's family will be more excited about the news. Not only are they excited about having a baby around but it's the first grandchild in his family! So, we were thinking of breaking the news with more style than what we did with my family.

I'm trying to break those two apart again for the 100th time. Maybe I should send one upstairs and the other to the basement. The door bell rings and the third one is here. Now there's three of them! Thank goodness the third one is adorable or I'll be pulling my hair out for the next hour or so.

I got an organizer from my Dr

It comes with a DVD, calendar, and infos

I was nervous about going to the Dr yesterday that I came 20 minutes late. As soon as I came in, I was asked to provide a urine sample. I did wonder about this request since I specifically remember giving the lab urine and blood sample last week, but I thought nothing of it. I did my business, and gave it to them anyway. Soon after, the girl who works there took my measurements and blood pressure. When I finally saw my Dr the first thing he said was, "Congratulations! You really are pregnant!" Now, I've known about this for weeks but I decided to keep mum about it to everyone but my  husband.

Events leading up to the confirmation
It all began before our trip to Vancouver. I usually keep track of when that time of the month comes, and when I thought I was getting mine I started having cramps. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach but the pain subsided after 15 minutes. After that faithful day, I started wondering why my period didn't come which led to having an inkling that I might be pregnant. Days turned into a week and my suspicion grew stronger since I'm the kind of girl who never misses her period. Our trip to Van was fast approaching so we decided to wait for my period to come, and if it doesn't come when we come home I'll take a home pregnancy test. So it was decided. We had fun in our trip but after the end of each night I was dead as a log. Thinking back, the trip was just too tiring for me. Coming back, my mother in law was nice enough to give us huge crabs for dinner (I think my in law just wants to make sure my husband gets fed but that's another blog entry) which he ended up eating by himself coz I couldn't stand the site of it! Just looking at it made me queasy that I didn't even want it in the house. In Van though we had too much seafood so I thought I was just sick of 'em. When we finally bought the pregnancy test I was too nervous to do the test. We were getting a bit excited about the thought of me pregnant (my husband especially) that if we get a negative we'd be disappointed. So, there I was peeing in a stick too nervous to look. The instructions said to wait 10 minutes before reading the  result but I was reading it in 2 mins. As soon as I saw the result, I checked the box again. I was confused by what I saw. Does it mean I'm pregnant or not? The sign I got was a bold vertical line and a faint horizontal line. What does it mean? I finally went downstairs in confusion telling my husband I don't know what the result means. He looks at the stick and asks for the instructions. After a couple of minutes of analyzing he says, "I think this means you're pregnant." I read the box again, and it says it doesn't matter how faint the horizontal line is, if there's a line it means you're pregnant. We weren't too sure about the result so we decided to try again 3 days later and we got the same result! So we thought okay then maybe I am but the box also warns people about chemical pregnancy (A chemical pregnancy is the clinical term used for a very early miscarriage. In many cases, the positive pregnancy test was achieved before the woman’s period was due but a miscarrige occured before a heartbeat was able to be seen on an ultrasound.) I don't know why they put that in the box but it made me think the whole pregnancy was just in my head. Monday came and I finally made a phone call to my Dr to book for an appointment. 


I'll be telling my family tonight after work and his family next week so if by chance you read this entry before we get a chance to tell our families keep this news quiet for now thanks! :)

Today's the day I have my yearly physical exam done. This usually makes me nervous since I don't want to sit around at home the next day or two waiting for that dreaded phone call from your Dr. saying you have cancer or some other incurable disease. For the record, I haven't had a call since I started seeing my new Dr. but then again I only started seeing him last year which would equate to one physical exam and today would be the second one. Nevertheless, I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Today, I plan to bring a notepad with me since whatever it is that I talk about with him in his office by the time I step out I've forgotten our conversation so TODAY I shall equip myself with a pen and paper. Next thing on my list is give my husband a call about how molested I felt during the entire process and his turn will come soon. If you've never had a physical exam done I suggest you do so and then come back to my blog. We can swap stories about feeling molested and abused - though I don't think I should use those words loosely.

I was at London Drugs looking for a blush brush yesterday. I was thinking of spending a little bit more on it so I was looking for an expensive one. As I reached the make up aisle, I saw a guy reaching for the same brush I was interested in. I smiled and asked, "what? you also want one?" He just laughed and continued walking. I thought nothing of it until I bumped into him again the second time. This time, the aisle felt narrow and I felt trapped but of course I didn't make it known I was getting uncomfortable. Everything happened so fast the next thing I know he was trying to take my engagement ring off my finger. I started screaming but nothing came out. I said to myself, "you have to scream loudly as you can or nobody's going to hear you!" As I try to scream I felt myself whimper before I uttered, "Noooooo!!!!" and that's when my husband woke me up. My husband was scared for me that he asked if I was okay and gave me a hug. When he asked what I was dreaming about I remember muttering something about some guy robbing me. That nightmare felt so real I still can't get it out of my head. I spent the rest of the night trying to get back to sleep and so did my hubby. I'm actually thinking of only wearing my ring when I'm with my hubby and just wear my wedding ring everyday. This dream somehow made me learn my lesson even before anything actually happened in real life.